How I told my husband...

We've been on this TTC journey for a while and Mr. B is very hands on about the whole thing, well as hands on as he can be aside from "doing his part". Most days I don't wake him for doctor's appointments but he always knows when they are and what's happening at each.

When I went in for my Beta I left Mr. B at home sleeping. It wasn't suspicious or raising any red flags because I get up early for work everyday so the time to his sleeping schedule was still early. He was under the impression that I didn't have to go in until Tuesday so I let him think it.

After the nurse called with the good news my brain went into overdrive on how to surprise him. Luck happened to be on my side that day because Monday is his day he usually works late. So I raced to the store after work and bought stickers, card stock, and a board after a quick trip to the dollar store I let my mind get to work.

The ending result is pictured below

There was more to the gift but I didn't get pictures before he got home. Like the Daddy's little drumstick onesie that will be perfect size for next Thanksgiving and a pacifier. I also recorded the entire thing which was priceless in my eyes. Now we just have to figure out how to tell our parents.

Until next time pray for us that this little baby keeps growing.

Updates and news...

Well I've been pretty MIA these last few weeks and so much has happened that I don't know where to start.  

I've been meaning to write this post for a week now but everything has been such a whirlwind with working and the start of graduate school (plus midterms this week) it's been hard to keep up. We started our next cycle after the frozen IVF cycle was a bit of a bust. There was a bit of debate with the clinic since I had already done a fresh and frozen IVF cycle that we would continue along the IVF route. Well honestly we never wanted to go the IVF route because we wanted to try as natural as possible if we could so that wasn't our plan anyway.  So IUI was suggested instead of IVF. Which there is nothing wrong with that either but every time they've tested my husband's sperm count and morphology it came back consistently with high numbers for both and call me old fashion but I'd prefer to be normal and just go home and have sex with my husband. I know it sounds crazy but we just wanted to "make" a baby the regular way. 

So once that was all sorted out and it had been decided that we would do a Gonal F injection cycle with timed intercourse I was pleased. After the start of my cycle and going in on day 3 for blood work and ultrasound I stimmed for about 6 or 7 days with gradual increases so that I wouldn't overstimulate like I did before and end up going through IVF again. When I did my trigger shot I had one egg that was a size 18 or 19 on the right and a 14 or 15 on the left. Since my first miscarriage was due to low progesterone I am automatically on some form of it in my two week wait. 

This past Monday I went in for my Beta I get to the clinic at 6:30 am chat with the girls in the lab about our weekends and my dress and cute boots (they always tell me I'm so dressed up) and head to work like normal. 

Typically I don't hear from my nurse until well after 1 pm when she calls so to get a call around 9 I just knew something went wrong. It wasn't my "assigned" nurse because she was off that day but it was another one named Jennifer. She explained that she had my results back from my test and that

I AM PREGNANT...

My numbers were high and strong. (In all my excitement I didn't ask what that initial number was). 

She instructed me to continue all my medicine except for the prolactin medicine I was taking and come back in two days. 

When I went back in Wednesday for bloodwork I was nervously excited but it was quick and I was in and out. My regular nurse called to tell me that my number more than doubled so I was sitting at a wonderful 477 (the first number was 174) and that I would need to come in next Thursday (11/20) for an ultrasound.

To say I am in shock is an understatement but I am living in the moment. The best was the way I told my husband but I'll save that for the next post.

Until next time... Send sticky thoughts and Pray for me...

Ivf 2 Results

This morning I had to get up early to be at the doctor's office for a blood draw to see if our FET IVF cycle was a success. 

It was a struggle to get up this morning because I had a "Girls Night In" last night which was so great but it ended with the last two people leaving after 1am.

The nurse called at 9am to tell me that my Beta Results were negative and unfortunately I'm not pregnant. I won't deny that I'm devastated because so many things seem to always happen when we try and I know that no one else's life is the same as mine but I just want my turn and chance to be a mom...

No tears today but I have a sad feeling that I can't shake and I know that's ok because tomorrow is another day...

Until next time...

5dp5dt...

Currently I am 5dp5dt and I feel like this...

Well kinda I am experiencing a slight sinus cold/allergy issue that triggered a massive asthma attack at work yesterday complete with the EMT's and the threat of oxygen. I don't have many 2ww symptoms other than the occasional crampy twinge here and there and sore boobies but that's to be expected since I am still on Estrace and Endometrium. Although last night my stomach was kinda bloated like I had eaten alot even though I hadn't had anything yet. Other than that I feel fine.

I can't say that I am particularly stressed because unfortunately asthma attacks this time of year are common for me but I have wondered if coughing and the fact that I have no choice but to take/use the medicine will affect implantation any. I contacted my nurse and she basically told me what I already knew BREATHING is more important so if I need the medicine then definitely take it.

I stayed home from work today and pretty much slept half the day away because it takes so much out of me but I just keep telling myself that it's what I need at the moment. A non-breathing me will be no use to the little embies inside me so I have to just take care of myself.

The Beta is scheduled for Sunday 10/12 so I'm hoping I feel better by then along with a BFP.

OAN: The funniest thing in all this is I keep thinking that I have the cutest new clothes and I haven't gotten to wear them because I don't feel that great. I guess I'm doing good not to stress about it. :-)

Until Next Time... Pray for us.

Starting Over... IVF#2

So after the first IVF cycle ended up as a chemical pregnancy and my doctor sent me to have a serious of blood work done. We were ready to get started again except my cycle did what it always does so after 51 days my cycle FINALLY shows back up.

I go through normal protocols and call my nurse to see what day she wants me to come back in. Since we had the two embryos in the freezer we decided to use those instead of doing the meds and it is supposed to be easier on you body so I'm for that. I go in on cycle day 3 and they put me on Estrace twice a day for 6 days and then I go back in for blood work and ultrasound.

After 10 days of Estrace I starting taking progesterone suppositories which I have to do 3X a day. I also had to start antibiotics and a steroid for 7 days. After that we could schedule the embryo transfer. Since it was a frozen cycle we had to do it Mon-Fri at our clinic especially since most times they aren't open past 9 am on Sat & Sun anyway so we chose today/Friday to make it a long weekend and I could just relax as much as possible.

The embryos were initially frozen as 5 day blast so we only had to hope that they survived the thaw. Luckily both of them did and they implanted them this morning at 10:30. Of course they let you watch it on screen as everything is happening but I think I was so tense from what was going on with the catheter that I missed it but they gave us a picture of the ultrasound so I know exactly where they are.

The cool/interesting thing is that even though the embryos were separate but frozen in the same "straw" when they thawed they somehow joined together by the sac which made me doctor say that I am her always something interesting patient.

Basically what this means is that WHEN(let's speak it into existence in hopes that it comes true) the embryos attach they will share a sac like they are identical twins even though they are fraternal. The babies would have two different placenta but share the same sac. She assured us that the babies would not be conjoined but it is a very interesting and rare case just the same. Needless to say the doctor, sonographer, and a few nurses are all excited and hopefully that this will work out for us.

I was just looking into the type of twins (mono-mono, di-di, and mono-di) a couple of weeks ago and from the descriptions it's true that this doesn't happen often definitely something only with IVF frozen cases.

Now I am in my two week wait but I will be going back in on Sunday to monitor my levels especially with the Vitamin D and MTHFR gene mutation. So let's keep our fingers crossed and the prayers strong that these are our miracle babies. We're/I'm cautiously optimistic and I hope that this works out great for us. The next 9 days are going to be very interesting.

I will keep you updated. I also attached a picture of the embyos.

Until next time... Pray for us!

Now I Understand... Kinda

So after having to wait an extra 2 weeks due to the lag in one test, a mini flood that still has me carless, going out of town for my friend's wedding and still working in between Mr. B and I finally met up with the RE to discuss the results from the bloodwork.

I'll be honest and tell you that I was dreading that my doctor would say something was wrong just as much as saying everything came back normal because I really needed a reason of why this keeps happening to me but no one wants something to be wrong.

We get to the office a little early and sit in the waiting room and I can't stop my legs from shaking in a nervous twitchy way. Even as we walk back to her office and my RE comments that we have lots to discuss I feel a pang in my lower stomach of this can't be good.

She briefly goes over the info of the last IVF cycle and the things she finds interesting about the way Mr. B's sperm reacted kinda laying out our odds in the matter.

Then she starts on me. I have a Vitamin D deficiency (which of course I already knew) and though not uncommon especially living in MI it's definitely a problem. A low but still normal Vitamin D level would be 30 mine is at an 18. I've already started taking the supplements on my own but it was after the bloodwork panel. Still I was encouraged to take it everyday at the 5,000 dosage.

Next she went into the issue she's found I have something called MTHFR which is basically a blood clotting disorder where I create more blood clots than my body needs. She placed me on a high dose of folic acid and vitamin B called Folgard.

Later she would like to place me on Heparin (a blood thinner) and progesterone shots (that were explained to hurt badly).

As for right now I'm taking the Folgard and low dose aspirin until we are ready to try again.

Until next time... Pray for me.

Nerves

Tomorrow we head in to the doctor to get the results from all the bloodwork & test that the doctor ordered.  I'm not totally scared but then again this whole TTC journey has been very heartbreaking and informative for me.

When I called the week before last they were still waiting for 1 more test and we were on vacation last week so tomorrow was the earliest that everything could fit together.

All I can do is hope for the best and see what tomorrow brings.

Until next time.... pray for me.